


To Be What You Want Me To Be

by imnotnia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crossdressing, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 15:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7228741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotnia/pseuds/imnotnia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No summaries because I rushed to post this lmao because i'm desperate for kurooyama content</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got dragged by my friend into kurooyama hell and this happened. I'm still new to this so pardon the mistakes. Any form of criticism (as long as it won't hurt me ;{ ) is appreciated. I want to write more for this pairing so pls help me improve ;----------;

This is the only chance he’s got. If he screws this up, it’s all over. Because this was the only way for Kuroo to return his feelings.

 

Yamaguchi sighed as he put on the last piece of his attire. He checked himself in the mirror go see if anything was amiss. He checked if his make up was okay or if his long wig was perfectly snuggled on his head. 

 

Everything has to be perfect for this date.

 

Especially, since it’s with Kuroo.

 

Kuroo, who thinks he’ll be going on a date with a girl.

 

Yamaguchi almost feels guilty for this but he had to do it. He has to swallow his guilt and get this chance. He doesn’t really want to fool Kuroo but Yamaguchi feels like he doesn’t have a shot with Kuroo.

 

Especially when Kuroo said  _ that. _

 

* * *

 

 

It was during summer camp when Yamaguchi realized he was in love with Nekoma’s volleyball team captain, Kuroo. Although he keeps denying it.

 

Yamaguchi always told himself that whatever he feels was just something he felt because he sees Kuroo almost everyday during summer camp and Kuroo always makes it a point to greet Yamaguchi (with that charming smile of his) or pat him on the head or the shoulder. 

 

Yamaguchi thought it was just a passing thing. He didn’t admit it himself. That’s why he never thought he’ll get this affected when he overheard Bokuto and Kuroo talk about the type of girls they date or would love to date.

 

It was at night. He was on his way to look for Tsukishima when he saw one of the gymnasium was open. He took a peek to see who was still in the gymnasium and found that it was Bokuto and Kuroo. They were sitting on the floor, talking about something. Hearing what it was was a bit of a stretch but Yamaguchi was able to hear them.

 

He’s never been one to eavesdrop but this was something he couldn’t pass up to hear. 

 

“What about you, Kuroo? What’s your type?” Bokuto inquired.

 

Yamaguchi can feel his heart thump wildly in his chest. He doesn’t even know why he’s nervous. He’s anticipating Kuroo’s answer. And he doesn’t know why.

 

_ Or so he thought. _

 

“Well, uhm, I-- err--,” Kuroo stuttered out. 

 

_ “I shouldn’t snoop around like this…”  _ He whispered to himself. And yet he couldn’t leave. It’s as if his feet planted themselves on the pavement.  _ “It’s none of my business anyway. Plus, why do I care? It’s… not like knowing what his type is will change anything… “  _ Yamaguchi whispered to himself again. But then his train of thought was interrupted by Kuroo's voice.

 

“I guess…” Kuroo said as he scratched the back of his nape. He sighed and continued. "I like girls with long hair…”

 

Yamaguchi felt his stomach dip. 

 

“Oh. Then, what do you think about Karasuno’s manager? The one with the glasses?” Bokuto nudged Kuroo with his elbow.

 

“She’s okay, I guess.” Kuroo says.

 

“Okay? But I thought you liked girls with long hair? She’s the perfect choice, dude.”  Bokuto reiterates.

 

“Yeah, but--” Kuroo was interrupted by a loud thump coming from behind the metal doors. He stood up to look at what it was that made the sound. He walked towards the metal doors and took a peek at what was behind it buthe found nothing. He saw something moving towards Karasuno’s room but he quickly dismissed it and went back to where he was previously sitting.

 

Meanwhile, Yamaguchi felt like his heart was going to jump out his chest. “That was close,” He said as he slumped against the wall behind him, clutching his chest as he tried to calm down.

 

_ “I like girls with long hair,” _ it echoed in his head.

 

Yamaguchi laughed sadly to himself. “See, I knew it was hopeless. I knew he doesn’t feel the same…”

 

There were tears threatening to fall from his eyes but he stubbornly wiped them away.

 

“I hate this…” He said in a soft voice, tears pouring down his face.

 

\--------

Yamaguchi snapped out of his reverie when he felt his phone vibrate in his sling bag. He quickly got the phone from the bag and read the message he just received.

 

_ “I’m by the park. Just text me when you’re at the entrance. I’ll pick you up. Can’t wait to see you for the first time. :) _

 

_ -Tetsurou K.” _

 

Yamaguchi took a deep breath, pondering on what to reply. 

 

_ “Okay. I’m on my way. Just doing some last minute retouching. Can’t wait to see you too. ^_^v I’ll just text you when I get there! _

 

_ -Yuri M.” _

 

“Shit.” Yamaguchi whispered. He doesn’t know if he can really do this. He feels so guilty yet so desperate. After a few minutes of self-loathing, he took one last look in the mirror and left.

 

“I have to do this. This is the only way.” He reassured himself as he made his way to the station.

 

* * *

 

It has been at least half a year since Yamaguchi or rather Yuri, and Kuroo have started texting. 

 

Yuri or Masaomi Yuri was the name Yamaguchi gave to himself. It’s the name for his girl persona. Unlike Yamaguchi, Yuri wasn’t shy. People admired Yuri. She was pretty. She has long black hair and likes to wear cute dresses. She was an eye-catcher. And surely enough, she caught Kuroo's eyes.

 

When he first got a private message from Kuroo, Yamaguchi could almost squeal. My labor has bared fruit, he thought. He quickly thought of something he could tell Kuroo. Yamaguchi tried to ignore the pang of guilt he feels boiling in his stomach. After all, his goal was close to completion.

 

Finally, Kuroo noticed Yuri.  _ Kuroo finally noticed him. _

 

He typed up his response and sent it immediately.

 

Finally, he said to himself, one step closer to getting close with Kuroo.  _ One step closer to being with him. _

 

Yamaguchi could cry, right then and there. Kuroo was the only reason he’s doing this. He created Yuri for Kuroo. Because he wants Kuroo. And Kuroo will never return the feelings of plain ol’ Yamaguchi.

  
_ He wouldn’t,  _ Yamaguchi sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED. I AM SO SORRY AAAAAAAAAA I HAD SO MUCH STUFF GOING ON AND I DIDN'T HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE. I'M REALLY SORRY. I HOPE THIS COMPENSATES.

It’s not like Kuroo didn’t want to move on. He just doesn’t know how.

 

This ‘ _crush_ ’ of his has been plaguing him since High School and it’s detrimental. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want it. _He hates it._

 

If you ask him, he’d rather just fall in love with some ordinary person he meets at a café or something.

 

_But why did it have to be Yamaguchi?_

 

He asks himself that often but he doesn’t get an answer.

 

He tried _everything_ to forget Yamaguchi. He tried to hook up with someone else, dated them. But they don’t last that long. It usually lasts for about 3 months or shorter than that and that’s it.

 

He just keeps looking for something in the people he dates.

 

And that’s the problem.

 

He’s looking for something that other people can’t be.

 

And that was Yamaguchi.

 

He breaks up with people so often and so soon that even his friends took notice and started to get concerned. Especially Bokuto.

 

Most of the people Kuroo meets and decided to date were people Bokuto recommended. These people were usually just someone Bokuto found online.

 

And  Kuroo is very much aware of what Bokuto was trying to do. He appreciates the gesture. So he indulges Bokuto’s suggestions.

 

But like I said, it usually just ends up in such a rushed end.

 

And today was a pretty ordinary day, since well, Bokuto’s on the phone, rambling on about how he found the girl that might snap Kuroo out of his dazed state.

 

_“Just try her, man. I’m sure you’ll like her.”_ Bokuto said, his voice as loud as it has always been.

 

“Hmmm” Kuroo hummed as he typed the girl’s name on the search bar. “I don't know, man. How many has this been? I mean, what if it doesn’t work out again.”

 

_Yuri Masaomi._ Kuroo clicked on the top answer and was redirected to a blog.

 

_“What if it did? Won’t know til you try, bro.”_

 

“Yeah, yeah. You always say that. You know, you gotta try being in my shoes for once. Seeing those girls cry is bad for my health. Especially when they cry because of me.”

 

The page soon loaded. Kuroo was welcomed with an overwhelming amount of pink in this...Yuri Masaomi girl’s blog. He scrolled down. The blog posts were mostly about her travels in Tokyo and her newly bought dresses and stuff like that. Typical girl stuff.

 

As Bokuto rambled on about how it’s Kuroo's fault and how he should move on blah blah blah, Kuroo scrolled down.

 

And he soon stumbled upon a photo of her.

 

She was...well, she was pretty. Long, black hair, long and thick eyelashes and oh...freckles?

 

_“You hear me?”_ Bokuto shouted through the phone.

 

No response. Kuroo kept on scrolling for more photos and he found a whole album of it.

 

_“Bro? Earth to Kuroo? Hello?~”_

 

Kuroo wasn’t sure why but...she looks familiar. But Kuroo has never met someone like her.

 

The more pictures he found, the feeling in him he grew.

 

_“Seriously, Kuroo. Answer me.”_

 

“S-Sorry, Bo. Got distracted for a sec.”

 

There was a sigh from Bokuto’s line. _“For a second there I thought you fell asleep on me. Like you usually do.”_

 

Kuroo scratched the back of his head. “Really sorry about those times.”

 

_“Mhm. How many times has that been?”_

 

“I know, I know but…I think...I think I’ll hit this girl up.”

 

Bokuto laughed. _“Well, that’s a first. You fancy her?”_

 

“Sort of.”

 

_“Well, go do it, man. I believe in you.”_

 

“Thanks, man. I’ll treat you when we see each other again”

 

_“M’kay, my dude. I’ll look forward to that. See ya~”_

 

Beep.

 

Kuroo set the phone beside his laptop.

 

He had the girl’s pictures on different tabs. He stared and stared, trying to remember if he ever met her.

 

“Yuri Masaomi….” He let the name roll in his tongue.

 

He soon sucked in a breath and cracked his knuckles.

 

“Alright. Time to hit her up.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Wait, so you’re gonna meet up this weekend?” Bokuto said enthusiastically.

 

Kuroo nodded as he dug into his fries.

 

And yes, after talking to her for a few weeks, Kuroo got her number and yes, after months of talking, they agreed to meet up.

 

Bokuto has never been this glad for his best bro, especially now that Kuroo seems to dig the girl he recommended so much.

 

“We’re gonna meet up at the Statue of Hachiko. She said she hasn’t been there despite being in Tokyo for a few times before.” Kuroo relayed.

 

“Do you have plans after that?” Bokuto gave him an eyebrow wiggle. To which Kuroo responded with a groan.

 

“No, Bokuto. That’s too soon. Stop messing with my plans.”

 

Bokuto laughed heartily. “I kid, I kid.”

 

To be honest, Kuroo's never felt this…excited about meeting someone before. To tell you the truth, the notion of the other person wanting to go meet him on a date doesn’t appeal to him. He feels it’s unnecessary. But he can’t say no. So, he goes. Much to his dismay.

 

But this time was different.

 

This girl, _Yuri_ , was...simply put, she’s great. Better than what Kuroo expected. She was easy going, easy to talk to and Kuroo feels like he can tell Yuri anything.

 

And for once, he hasn’t been thinking about Yamaguchi while talking to Yuri.

 

He was sure that Yuri’s the key for him to move on.

 

Feels nice, to be quite honest.

 

“Well, I’m happy for you, bro. I hope it turns out well. Unfortunately, I have to go. Akaashi's waiting for me.” Bokuto said as he gave Kuroo's shoulder a tap.

 

“Okay, okay. Have fun, Bokuto.”

 

With a wave, Bokuto slid off his seat and left.

 

* * *

 

 

The days couldn’t pass any faster. The more Kuroo waited, the more he got antsier. It was a gruesome week. But he managed.

 

And now he’s there, sitting on the benches near Hachiko’s statue, looking around and waiting.

 

He was wearing his favorite ripped jeans and a button up shirt. (It took him almost an hour to come up with it. He was so scared Yuri might laugh at his attire since Yuri seems like some fashionista.)

 

He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, he constantly checked his phone for new messages and he’ll look around. He was doing everything to stop being nervous.

 

But he can’t help it.

 

This was the first time in years that he felt this way.

 

And it’s embarrassing.

 

Soon, his phone vibrated. He clicked the new message he just received and as expected it was from Yuri.

 

He was half-expecting Yuri would back out but…

 

_“From: Yuri Masaomi_

_Received */**/**** 10:34 A.M._

_Message:_

 

_Sorry, Kuroo-san! I might be late for a few minutes. But I’m on my way. （；^ω^）Super Duper sorry._

 

_ <END>” _

 

Kuroo sighed in relief. He thought about what to reply back and types it in and sent it. He put his phone back in his phone and tried to relax.

 

He waited and waited and he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

He turned around to see who it was and…

 

“H-Hello, Kuroo-san.” The girl said meekly.

 

She was wearing a floral dress, her long, black hair was curled and she was wearing light make up.

 

Kuroo was speechless.

 

“U-Umm…Kuroo-san?” She repeated.

 

Kuroo shook his head and stood up. “H-Hi…! Uhmmm, Yuri.”

 

Yuri blushed and smiled.

 

He stared at each other for a few minutes before Kuroo broke away and coughed in his hand.

 

“S-So, shall we get going?”

 

Yuri nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

After taking a few pictures of Yuri beside Hachiko’s statue, they moved on to tour different places in Tokyo.

 

They talked in between eating street food and they would laugh at Kuroo's lame jokes. They tried the arcade, went to different stores and bought clothes and weird trinkets.

 

It was fun. Kuroo loved every second of it. He loved seeing Yuri get excited about various things and it was so cute.

 

He can get used to this.

They sat on one of the park benches as they ate their ice pops. They shared stories about their tour just and took pictures as they ate.

 

“You keep stealing shots of me. It’s unfair.” Kuroo pouted. Yuri can’t help but snap another photo.

 

Kuroo tried to steal her phone away but Yuri retaliated. She quickly tucked her phone inside her purse and blew a raspberry at Kuroo.

 

Kuroo chuckled at it.

 

They fell into comfortable silence as they finished their ice pops.

 

They watched as people went by. They would laugh when they see someone trip over a rock.

 

And soon, their eyes met.

 

They smiled at each other and Kuroo’s heart skipped a beat.

 

He looked away for a moment and he scooched a little closer.

 

“Can I tell you something, Yuri?” Kuroo started. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt out of nervousness.

 

Yuri nodded.

 

Kuroo smiled nervously. He licked his lips as they were beginning to get dry.

 

“You know, f-for the...past few years, I’ve been...I’ve been trying to move on from this person.”

 

Yuri nodded in encouragement. “And?”

 

“And...well, I haven’t been able to. I tried so hard. I dated a few people but they always end shortly after it started.”

 

Kuroo sighed at the memories. The images of the people he dated flashed before him. He feels bad for using them as a scapegoat for his insecurities.

 

Maybe that’s why he can’t move on…? But that’s beside the point. What matters now is what he’s gonna tell Yuri.

 

“And those relationships I got into, they didn’t really help at all. It just made the pain even worse.”

 

Yuri held his face, causing him to stop. There was a tinge of hurt in Yuri’s eyes but Kuroo didn’t mind. “Wait, wait.” Yuri said. “What did this... _person_ do to you? Did they cheat on you or something?”

 

“Well,” Kuroo pried himself away from Yuri. His hands were kind of sweaty. “Nothing like that happened. It’s just...a one-sided crush. And it lasted until...until I can remember. I still am not over it but…”

 

He looked away and took a deep breath, as if he was psyching himself up. He looked back at Yuri and held her hands in both his own.

 

Yuri still looked hurt. As if she knows Kuroo’s pain.

 

“But...I don’t know. After talking to you a lot and meeting you, I haven’t thought of this person for a while. And I’m...really, truly grateful for that. So thank you.”

 

Kuroo smiled. His hands were shaking but it didn’t matter. Yuri was there to listen and calm him down.

 

Yuri was his everything now.

 

Then suddenly, Yuri’s hands were on his face and he was pulled in and their lips met. Kuroo’s eyes widened and his mind reeled back.

 

_Was this really happening?_ He thought.

 

Yuri’s lips were shaking but he didn’t mind. He soon returned the kiss, his hands gripping the seat as he didn’t have anywhere else to grip.

 

After a moment, they parted, Yuri’s lips were covered in saliva and her eyes were closed.

 

Kuroo was still relishing what just happened when Yuri suddenly shrieked. She must have realized what she did.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Yuri apologized, clasping her hands together as if she was praying for forgiveness. “I-I didn’t mean to…! I was just– I got– Oh my God…”

 

She curled up in a ball, her feet put up on the bench and her head was on her knees. Kuroo laughed at the sight and it made her look up.

 

“It’s fine,” Kuroo reassured. “Not like I didn’t like it. It just...caught me off guard s’all.”

 

Yuri groaned and buried her head again. But Kuroo made her look at him again.

 

“Don’t be sorry. Come on. Look at me. It’s like you’re saying you didn’t like kissing me.”

 

Yuri had no choice but to look at him. She sat properly again and looked him in the eyes.

 

“Well, did you? Did you like it…?”

 

Yuri bit her lower lip and nodded, her eyes cast down.

 

Kuroo smiled. “C’mere.”

 

He pulled her into a hug.

 

“Oh man!” He exclaimed. “I was so worried you wouldn’t like me.”

 

Yuri pulled back to look at him in disbelief and giggle. “Me? Not liking you? Funny, I had the same thought.”

 

They stayed like that for a few more minutes, relishing each other's heat, basking in the feeling of hugging each other, under the hush of the Moon.

 

Soon, it was time to leave. They parted ways in the train station with one last kiss.

 

Soon, Yuri’s phone buzzed and she opened the message she just received.

 

_“From: Kuroo-san ٩(๑´0`๑)۶_

_Received */**/**** 7:00 P.M._

_Message:_

 

_Be careful. I’ll talk to you later._

 

_PS, I love you._

  
_ <END>” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made massive changes to things. I might rewrite stuff. And to people who're waiting for updates, I'm really sorry. m(_ _)m I'll try my best to update some more. Thanks for being patient!


End file.
